Soldiering On

Despite suffering chronic pain for most of my life, other than a total hip replacement, Monday's steroid injection was the first pain relief I've ever been offered.

My fellow patients were shocked at what they considered to be the National Health Service's negligence but it's my own doing. I hardly ever visit the doctor and rarely take painkillers.

I'm not scared of hospitals, it's being dependant on other people I can't deal with. I'm the worst patient in the world. I hate feeling weak, defenceless and vulnerable. I'd rather solider on than make a fuss.

Arthritis has never stopped me doing anything, it's something I was born with and it's as much part of me as breathing. I played hockey for the school team, trained as a chef and had a career which led to me being on my feet for 13 hours a day for years. As an employee, I never called in sick. Despite my awkward limp I've wasn't short of admirers, never resorted to wearing sensible shoes or failed to keep fit. Apparently I'm eligible for a blue badge and disability benefit, should I choose to accept them, but all that can sod off, I don't need handouts. That's just giving in and admitting defeat.

Solider maxi waistcoat (previously seen HERE), 1960s Bukta school leotard (20p, jumble sale), 1970s Handmade by Bronley geometric print maxi skirt (50p, car boot sale), turquoise suede boots (courtesy of sexpot Helga)

Constant pain is like having a sound system strapped to your ears and ramped up to the highest level. It nags away at you, lowers your tolerance levels and distracts you but, like any minor irritant, you learn to live with it. You don't suffer fools gladly and despise moaners and pessimists; you fight harder and work longer because as soon as you let your guard down the noise comes back.

People call me brave, which I'm not, nobody chooses to have a disability but I can do fuck all about it so I might as well just get on with it. Moaning just alienates you from other people.

Give pain an inch and it will take a mile. Let it stop you doing what you want and you'll become defined by it. Work through the pain barrier, exercise daily, wear your highest heels and your brightest clothes because when people compliment you for looking fabulous you instantly feel better.

Yay! An improvement already. Today's soundtrack is less Megadeth and more The Carpenters, it's there but it's much less wearing.

Thanks for you kind messages and comments, it made things feel a billion times brighter.

1950s feather print vinyl beach bag (£1.99, Banardos)

By way of celebration I've out been charity shopping and treated myself to a bottle of rum on the way home.

Cheers!