Wednesday 23 October 2013

Would You Like To Marry Me? And If You Like You Can Buy The Ring



For a woman who's managed to avoid all things marriage-related for the best part of forty-seven years, I suppose it's pretty freaky that one of my most favourite ever frocks is this crocheted wedding dress from 1967. 


Snaffled from the bottom of a suitcase from a house clearance stall at the car boot sale, it came complete with a flesh-coloured underskirt to preserve the blushing bride's modesty. It's a bitch to wear though, the sleeves catch on everything and it's not unknown for cutlery, coat hangers or biros to get tangled up and trailed around for the best part of the day.


I spotted this 70s crochet skull cap on our charity shop expedition yesterday, it's perfect for hiding my hideous roots which seem to have surfaced overnight. So with a 1" wide blonde parting I won't be modelling the hair bows I've made from scraps of vintage fabric, Indian braid and broken jewellery this week. 


I'd better think of a more commercial name than Bastard Massive Hair Bows, I might offend some of the more ladylike visitors when I take them to Sunday's fair. I'm already a vintage outcast for not liking Elvis, '50s repro fashion, Audrey Hepburn or c*pcakes as it is.


The official blog photographer loves taking surreptitious snaps of my arse. Curtise isn't the only person to have trouble with photos, I can't even control the cameraman. 

Vintage wedding dress (£5, car boot sale, 2008), Crochet skull cap (95p, SENSE), Handmade-by-me bag (20p), Wooden beads (Made by gorgeous Spanish Senorita, Tania), Rainbow hoop earrings (Adorable La Dama), Velvet platform boots (£9, Office sale, 2011)
The bag made from a seat cover brought more charity shop magic yesterday. I'll share my finds once I've laundered, repaired and ironed them all.

See you soon.

86 comments:

  1. What a GORGEOUS dress - you look stunning in it. I can imagine navigating your way around your house or a shop is pretty tricky with those sleeves, but looking this good I guess you can out up with it:)

    xxx
    PS Nice bum shot! ;) xxx

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  2. Wouldn't it be great to know the story of the cool bride who got married in this dress!

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  3. What a great wedding dress? Aren't you remotely tempted? I can see you tying the knot on a beach in India in that dress with your bikini underneath! Mind you, you don't need a wedding outfit to look fabulous! xxx

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  4. I want to get divorced just to get remarried to Mr FHCS in that dress (my something borrowed - hint hint). You sure you're not tempted, you look fab! Xx

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  5. I've got the best mental picture now of you wandering around the house with 17 coat hangers trailing off your sleeves :D

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  6. I'm imagining you wandering around with forks hanging off your sleeves.
    Yeah I bet it was a pretty cool bride who wore that dress.

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  7. Good way to make off with somebodys silver collection ~ just blame it on the dress !
    Actually it looks super duper on you ~back and front .

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  8. What a gorgeous dress! A wedding dress is just a dress after all, and it's so sad when a lovely dress is only worn once.

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  9. That dress is absolutely gorgeous!

    Your Bastard Big Hair Bows are pretty perfect too :)

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  10. Wow!! What a great dress!
    Love the bows to.
    Xxx

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  11. feck me, you look gorgeous! the dress is a beauty and I like your hair all romantic and wavy, 'Bastard Massive Hair Bows' has a nice ring to it, but I suppose you probably will have to change it, pah! x x

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  12. That is such a beautiful dress and it looks great on you. I think Bastard Massive Hair Bows is a great name ;) xx

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  13. I adore this dress ... you would make a beautiful bride ... if you ever decided to take the plunge.
    My Dad always used to say it's better to be single wishing you were married ... than married wishing you were single ... wise words I think.
    xx

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  14. Absolutely gorgeous dress, and I love your make up.
    You know my situation with weddings - thankfully dodged a mistake but one day I'll be a bride I'm sure.
    xx

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  15. Gorgeous, gorgeous outfit! Particularly the cap, must make one for myself, urgently! Because you're quite right - nothing like hiding one's roots with fabulous headgear :)

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  16. The dress is so beautiful and it doesn't look like a wedding dress. The sleeves are amazing.

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  17. Wow the collection of dresses you have is making me so jealous! This must have been straight from Cher's closet. I flippin' love it!

    I could see where it would catch on everything though. This is more of a "lay-provocatively-about-while-your -man-slave-feeds-you-grapes-dress". Every woman needs a few of those.

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  18. What a fabulous dress, and I'd love to see the original bride in it too -- probably tones of flowers in her hair and bare feet. You are a total dish! xo

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  19. I love the dress to. I have a crochet dress from Next - almost vintage as I've had it since 2003.

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  20. It's a lovely dress, I have sleeves similar on one of my dresses and find putting a coat on top with those sleeves a nightmare.i sympathise.

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  21. Love the dress. Know what you mean about the roots, I look like a ginger badger at the moment,grey streaks aplenty :)

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  22. Somehow this just wouldnt look the same stretched round a backside like mine...lol

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  23. I gotta say, that's one seeexy dress, Vix! I'm sure you're still stunning trailing forks and whatever other bits get caught on it. I used to have an outfit I called my "death outfit": high-heeled lace-up booties (of course I still have them), worn with a long coat with tuxedo slits front and back (why did I get rid of it?). The boot hook and eyes would always get caught on the coat tails, invariably when I was getting on and off the subway! xo

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  24. Love it! I feel like it'd be worth catching on everything for how great it looks on you :)

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  25. Now I know why those 60s wedding parties had such a massive baaaaaaaaaastard number of bridesmaids ... to keep the bride's sleeves out of the punch and three-tiered wedding cake! Feck making up another name ... you've come up with the best ever for your amazing designs!!!! Sick to the fecking back teeth of 50s repro shite and Audrey was at her best in her 60s and 70s. Arse pics are fiiiiiiiiiiiiine by me baby ... loveyamorethanfeckoffbows. xxxxxx

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  26. You have curls! OMG you look friggin hot! This is a killer wedding dress and I bet it's a pain it wear but my is it a pleasure to admire on you! The massive head bows are so colorful and I love that you added some bling to some! Those will be a hit this weekend!

    I kinda love that you are not traditional by any means even your love of vintage clobber! If you are around tomorrow I'd love a chat gorgeous!
    Loveyoulotsxxxxoooo

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  27. That dress is a beauty and you're a brave soul to even attempt to wear it. I'd probably have caught it on so many things it would be completely unraveled after a day's wearing. Your hair bows are bound to be a hit -- so cheery!
    Thanks for the inspiration. Now I have to make a magic giant charity shop bag before I leave for London.

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  28. I also have photographed your butt if I were your blog photographer. How lucky that you do not have to marry to wear wedding gowns. The dress is created for you! Personally, I thought it was incredibly fun to get married and I like to be Mrs. Nilsson. We waited for 5,000 days though

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  29. Bastard Massive Hair Bows sounds bloody great to me!

    Jen xx

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  30. Dress is amazing - you look fabulous!
    Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

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  31. I think Bastard Massive Hair Bows has a nice ring to it. I suppose some people might be offended, I think most would have a bloody good laugh.
    Love this curly look and the crocheted dress is amazing on you, probably not a good idea to do housework in it tho! The day your photographer ISN'T taking sneaky shots of your arse is the day to worry. Got a feeling that it ain't gonna happen. xxxxxxxx

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  32. I think your Official photographer does a brill job and you look stunning!X

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  33. Your posts always make me smile. I love this crocheted dress. My Mother made me one in the 70s. I too trained a train of silverware and various household objects in my wake, ha ha! x

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  34. Hi there! This dress is absolutely gorgeous and the backshot is brilliant! You look amazing and the crochet cap completes the look! xxx

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  35. Hi there! This dress is absolutely gorgeous and the backshot is brilliant! You look amazing and the crochet cap completes the look! xxx

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  36. I don't care about anyone, except myseeeeellfff. I just ordered his autobiography today, by the way. I'm very curious about it.
    Anyway and onward to the theme of the post - that dress is fab. I can see why it must be a pain to wear though and I suppose it's one of those things that need carefully considered when you look at them in the closet "what will I be doing today and will this be practical". LOL Looks lovely on you!

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  37. lordy but you look FINE! that dress is gorgeous!!! x

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  38. Hold me, I'm dizzy. I absolutely adore you in this frock, in fact I think it's up there with my all time favourites of you. It is perfection and you look exquisite, your hair all wavy looks rather mermaid like the skull cap is sublime with whole combo. You're just totally rockin' it, and it's all something I'd wear.

    Can you blame your photographer taking pictures of your arse, you've got going on.

    I

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  39. 50´s repro? cupcakes? i´m too old for that ;-)

    great combo here with all the creme topped with little pieces from a rainbow - love you color sense!

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  40. ooooh check you out!!!!!! How lovely do you look!!!! Love the big sleeves!!!! The bows are a great idea! I love the idea of you recycling broken jewellery!x

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  41. I get very excited when you mention you've had some luck that the chazzas!!!
    Ha, I don't mind Elvis, his movies more than his music, but I don't like repro (unless I made it), Audrey Stick Insect or gross cupcakes either! Don't care about being an outcast though, feck 'em and their twee crap!
    Now, this crochet number is rather slinkily sublime....I adore bastard massive sleeves, but gave them up years ago for these very reasons you talk about!!! O, Bastard Massive Hair Bows is a perfect name, btw.
    I for one am grateful for a gawk at your taut arse! Nice one Jon, cheers!
    Fecking regrowth gets on my tit. I don;t know why our bodies can't get the idea that we don't like random hair or our hair colour and just sort it out!
    Love Helga xxxXXXxxx

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  42. I love that this was someones wedding dress! So much better than the almost identical commercially made frocks of today. What's wrong with massive bastard hairbows? I quite like it:-) Oh yes that who vintage scene were everything has to be 'right' in terms of fabric, colour and style bleh! I am continually puzzled by those women who love the 50s and go on about what a great time it was? seriously?

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  43. I love that this was someones wedding dress! So much better than the almost identical commercially made frocks of today. What's wrong with massive bastard hairbows? I quite like it:-) Oh yes that who vintage scene were everything has to be 'right' in terms of fabric, colour and style bleh! I am continually puzzled by those women who love the 50s and go on about what a great time it was? seriously?

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  44. Loving your curly locks today xx

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  45. That's one gorgeous frock and you rock it. I'd be a disaster in action with those sleeves...I'd catch everything in them. I'd have foliage,bits of food and small children in them by the end of the day.
    I dunno tough...Massive Bastard Hair Bows has sold them to me. They will sell like hot cakes.
    No wonder you can't control the cameraman. Phwoarrrr.
    Loves ya.
    xxxxxxx

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  46. oh my what a fab dress! Ill just have to file that in my secret wedding folder for laters...

    And poo poo to those vintage snobs! I love the vintage community, but the little rules that some people have about what is or isn't vintage erks me. 60s and 70s is always under represented at vintage shows and don't get me started on their fashion parades. I need to give them a reminder that vintage ends in the 80s not the early 60s! grr.

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  47. Vix....you are gorgeous & love the crochet dress. I was just in awe from the first pic & the what a sexy back. Your bastard bows made me lol!

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  48. I think it's the official brand name now - Bastard Massive Hair Bows is perfect.
    Speaking of perfect - how bloody gorgeous is that frock? Oh I know you might be trailing all sorts of random items in your sleeves by the end of the day, but it would get you off any shop lifting charge (it was the dress, Officer, honest...)
    Weddings? No, not bothered about them but the dress is fabulous. And Jon can't help himself, obviously - who wouldn't want to take sneaky photos of your arse, love? We all would, truth be known.
    We can be outcasts together and eschew the c*pcakes in favour of a pint and some chips! And it won't be long now, yippee! xxxxxx

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  49. Well without the lining, I bet it would look great over a bikini!

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  50. Love the dress, love the bows, love the bum. The 50s look can be a bit samey but those petticoats are really jolly warm and great for a bit of flouncing. I do like a nipped in waist (offset the boobs) myself but I know where you are coming from.

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  51. What an adorable hat! Also, I would totally buy a hair bow from a company named Bastard Massive Hair Bows!

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  52. It's no wonder that is your favourite dress ... it looks wonderful on you. And I love the crocheted cap too.

    Your hair bows are terrific. I hope you keep at least one so you can model it for us sometime.

    Nick is the same way, photographing my backside. I once had a fancy undo with braids and everything and I asked him to get a shot of the back. Well, you can guess what I found when I reviewed the photos later. Suffice it to say, there ain't no picture of that hairdo!

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  53. The dress loves you. You look divine.

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  54. Oh my God GORGEOUS dress and how you put the whole outfit together!!!

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  55. What a fabulously gorgeous dress!!! you look fantastic!!
    LOVE the skullcap--I remember making them in the early 70's!!

    Your Massive Bastard Hair Bows are glorious!!

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  56. Oh, just look at you! That hair and hat combo is to die for, not to mention that dress! And you clever girl making that stunning bag. You are a vision... but then you always are. :)

    Those hair bows are brilliant! Hope you do well with them.

    xxx

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  57. That is one incredible frock, & I can't imagine anyone wearing it as well as you do. Xx

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  58. What a beautiful dress! Too bad about the dangerous sleeves - I guess the only thing you can do while wearing it is drink champagne.

    I love the curls in your hair. They look especially good with the crocheted hat.

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  59. The wedding dress is outrageously gorgeous. And the skull cap is the perfect headwear for this outfit! You never cease to amaze me, with your level of energy and your creative designs.

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  60. The only thing I like better than a wedding dress is no wedding dress. I'm missing the wedding gene that no amount of therapy can restore. But I love this crocheted dress with nude underskirt. It's not the traditional pouf curtain thing. Something I love about you is that you DON'T like Audrey H.

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  61. As Dolly would say, I'm not the marrying kind either. The thought of having a wedding fills me with horror. That dress is amazing though. It doesn't look a wedding dress. The sleeves are fantastic. Elvis creeps me out and cupcakes are boring. Seriously, give me a muffin any day.

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  62. I am not very keen on weddings, either, sitll I did marry for mother´s sake.
    Love the dress and you.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  63. I cannot abide Elvis or the Beatles and nor can I comprehend why people want to celebrate the war which let's face it for millions was a time of death and devastation!I am obviously a disgrace to the vintage life! I have a dress which is fabulous but its sleeves are always causing me to catch on door handles etc so it's a right pain! You look nice and maybe you can hang merchandise off the dress by way of a display and aid to marketing!

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  64. Vix you have a fantastic arse!! And I want that dress!!

    Pin a BMHB (Bastard Massive Hair Bows) onto your skull cap, done!!

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  65. I swear my Mother had a frock like that, but miniskirted, I can remember seeing pictures....hmm I'll have to ask her.

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  66. Vix you are looking fabulous. I can only imagine how much work went into the crochet dress - is it heavy? A lot of yarn goes into crochet and it looks amazing. (love the photo of you sashay-ing away from camera, made me smile)

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  67. so freaking awesome vix. love the bag too. looking gorgeous.

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  68. my goodness that is some awesome dress! whoever got married in that had some style i guess..you look gorgeous in it.

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  69. Wedding dress or not, that is a mighty fabulous crochet dress on you. And, I'm obsessed with bows. :-) xx

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  70. Loved your description of things getting inadvertently snaffled by and tangled in the sleeves, but oh what swishing possibilities those sleeves offer. That last image of you among the leaves is pure fairy tale too.

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  71. I sure would! I am in amour of your crochet wedding dress and curls. You suit curly hair.

    Besos

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  72. Wow, i love this you look amazing, such a beautiful dress!


    Hello check out my fashion blog at www.fashion1psychology.com Thx

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  73. you're looking so gorgeous wearing this dress!, obviously it Must to be one of your favorites!. But fabulous sleeves sometimes are really unpractical and crochet is like a web that catches everything!!
    I would be immediately attracted by any advert about Bastard Massive HairBows!!, and they're really fabulous!
    And I'm not a huge fan of Elvis nor Audrey Hepburn, and I'm hating all that cupcakes trend, it's like a f`ck'n epidemic!
    besos & Hairbows

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  74. Back, and I mean way back, in the day I worked with a girl who wanted a crocheted wedding dress. Unable to afford one she decided to make her own despite never having crocheted.

    She taught herself how to crochet a granny square and then crocheted herself a lovely wedding dress - result!

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  75. What a lovely dress and it looks great from behind!!

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  76. But, if I am permitted to say Vx, what an arse. Don't blame Jon, he is doing a public service! Hee hee Xxx

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  77. What a vision you are in that dress! I looks like it was made for you. I'm in awe of all that chrochet work (I loved chrochet as a kid). I just love the sleeves.

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  78. No!!! I love the name Bastard Massive Hair Bows :D

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  79. I wouldn't have pegged that as a wedding dress, so I think your reputation is still safe! It is a gorgeous dress but it wouldn't last a day without me getting caught on a door or the bus and unravelling the whole dress.

    The skull cap un-glamourizes the dress perfectly and makes it funky, as do your sassy curls.

    I like the name of your hair bows and it will appeal to the right sort of customer!

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  80. You know how I feel about a bit of crochet, and this one is INTENSE. Also cannot let husband lose on the camera without the whole thing getting suspiciously boobtacular, but those are my issues.

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  81. Woohooo this outfit is fully totally awesomely divine - god I love it so much!!

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Thanks for reading and for leaving a message. Please don't be anonymous, I'd love it if you left a name (or a nom de plume).

Lots of love, Vix