Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Looking Back - The One Where I Get Reflective



I'd have loved for my twenty-year-old self to have met the woman I've become.


This was 20 year old Vix, living in bedsit-land, catering student by day and Walsall's most infamous barmaid by night.

Resplendent in a jumble sale smoking jacket and spiral perm,

I was penniless and didn't particularly like the way I looked but I was never short of boyfriends and had a social life to kill for.

In a boy's bedroom - what a floozy!
Living a hand-to-mouth existence, young Vix would have been impressed by my being mortgage & debt-free and delighted that I'd bought my Grandparents' former home. She'd have been surprised to find me living with the former primary school classmate whose band regularly featured on the telly and even more so by my managing to remain unmarried and childless (she grew up believing that it was inevitable even though it was something she'd never wanted).


Despite my manic grin my trip to Faliraki on a girls' 18-30 holiday was hell on earth. She'll have been impressed that I became a backpacker and never went on another package holiday.



She wouldn't have batted an eyelid about me being vegetarian, buying all my clothes second-hand or using cruelty-free products, that had never changed. Even her taste in music remains pretty much the same.

I'm still wearing the same shade of Barry M lip paint almost 27 years later.


She'd have been amazed to see how black hair suited her more than her natural blonde and by the older me's piercings and tattoos (her earlobes remained intact well into her twenties). She'd have been pleased to discover that the pain and annoying limp that had plagued her since childhood were not "growing pains" and could be eradicated with a total hip replacement.


She'd have been stunned by how much pink I wear (her blonde hair pretty much guaranteed attention and her clothes were almost always black) and would be thrilled by what a wild social life I still have (she often worried that getting older meant not going out and taking the world by storm).


She would be happy to see that I still share my home with cats and that I continue to liberate stuff from skips - the Royal Mail box holding my records in the photo above and the dressing table stool below.



The thing that would totally have knocked her for six though would be that older Vix makes her own clothes. As a young woman she believed sewing was the epitome of uncool and she'd have curled up in embarrassment knowing her older self got so much pleasure from dressmaking.

  • I made this go-go top in the garden last week using the remains of a vintage St Michael curtain, the trim from a lampshade and some bias binding and eyelets that came in a box of tat from a boot sale.
Go-Go top worn with St Michael paisley pants (part of a groovy set from darling Curtise), 1960s granny beads (20p, car boot sale, last week)
Getting older is brilliant, I liked my younger years but I love my life now.

How have you changed? 

114 comments:

  1. oh how I just love this! You are such a beautiful woman inside and out!

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  2. Getting older is cool. I don't quite understand all those people that fear it and wish their high school years or twenties back. Not me, no, not at all I love looking back and seeing how I have changed and how I feel I'm everything I was meant to be, with still much more to happen and potential. So yes to answer your question, I have changed a LOT.

    I really enjoyed this post Vix as I always do. I must say that your black hair is glorious it's so funny how different you look with blond hair, but still you underneath it all.

    What a wonderful thing in life it is when you finally come into your own. Toy should be so proud of yourself and the life you've created yourself to enjoy.

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  3. What a wonderfully thoughtful and interesting post, Vix. I always love to see old photos of bloggers, but yours are especially fascinating - it's you, but not you! The blonde hair surprises me every time, even though I know you are a natural blonde. And oh those 80s curls! I wonder is all of our student bedsits or shared rented houses had the same furniture... and the same record collections and posters!
    It would be odd if we didn't change and develop as we get older. We learn throughout our lives, and that means changing. But some things do stay the same - loving our friends, enjoying our social life, our ethics, even our lippy!
    Beautiful then, beautiful now, darling. Rocking the pink, sewing up a storm (great little go-go top!) and skip-diving, that's our Vix!
    Me? I'm just a whole lot more confident, I wish I hadn't wasted so much time feeling inadequate in my youth. I've got the kids I wasn't sure I would ever have, though the career hasn't gone quite the way I thought, but I'd like to go back and tell the younger me not to worry, it turns out alright in the end! xxxx

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  4. How nice! I hear anyone complaining how sad it is to get older but actually I love it. I love me now much more than in the past, although I like my past, too.
    How much I have changed? Well, I split up with my family (my parents forced me into a life I didn't want and my mother abused me emotionally, said to me I'm worthless since my childhood), quitting the career I forced me into because I thought my parents would like me if I'm successful (they didn't) and having now the time of my life with my freelance work, my hubby, being childless, traveling the world and living every day to the fullest.

    Well, not only you had a reflective day ;)

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  5. I absolutely love love love this post Vix!! It's so interesting to see photos of how you used to look and hear what you think your younger self would make of you now. It makes me happy that you aim to eek every bit of pleasure out of life, that you lead such a frugal yet fun existence and that you don't bow to conformity - whether that be marriage and motherhood or the fact that people seem to think you shouldn't have an exciting and crazy social life once you're older than 35!!

    Lisa xxx

    http://the-sportista.blogspot.co.uk/

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  6. I still can't get used to seeing you with blonde hair. You look so much better with black.

    How have I changed? Wow, that's a long answer! But "for the better" is the short answer. I'm not so quick tempered as I was, I deal better with the stresses of life than I ever did as a younger person. I still like the same things; music, art, movies, rusty old crap. And I'm still married to the same guy, since 1979!

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  7. What a wonderful post, I really enjoyed reading this xxx

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  8. Also - just wanted to add that I'd love to have that same perspective 10 years from now. Currently I'd tell my younger self that sometimes you really should follow your dreams (if I had stayed at uni I could be an actress now, if I had done a different course at college I would now be a hairdresser - both professions would make me much happier than the one I'm in!!), that wasting my money on clothes and holidays will only serve to make things harder later on in life - I cannot afford to buy a house or get married because I have no savings, and that being frightened of being alone is a far better prospect than staying with someone who isn't right for you, no matter how much you love them. Perhaps in 10-15 years time I'll be able to tell my 30 year old self that having children and changing careers was the most fulfilling decision I've ever made, at the moment it scares me a lot!!!!

    xx

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  9. What a great go-go top! You were BORN for this kind of creativity, Vix. So glad you found it - or it found you.

    I've gotta think more about your question. Mostly, I'm just surprised to find myself at the age I am :) I don't feel at all like I am as old as I am!

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  10. Can I just say this could be my most favorite post ever Vix!!!! We must be in similar head spaces right now because I have been thinking how proud the 20 year me would be if she saw where I am today. I love seeing you as a younger still trying to sort it all out girl and then I look at you now and I think yes that is the woman she was to become. I would have knocked someone out if they said my favorite color would be pink or that I would find kids adorable, but that is the best thing about life we can change it all up when we want to.

    You are more beautiful now inside and out than ever! I want those pants I want those pants!!!!!! You are my very favorite rainbow.
    I love you more than buckets and buckets of gold!
    XXOOOOOO

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  11. Oh I love this post! You look absolutely stunning now and I think your younger self would be so proud of what you've become. I only hope I can have the same reflection when I'm older.!

    Mary xx
    rosetintedvintage.blogspot.co.uk

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  12. A very thought-provoking post - I loved it! You looked just as amazing then as you do now. Wish my 20 year-old self had had the confidence to do all the things she wished she could, but thought were beyond her - she's never really moved on from there, unfortunately.
    Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

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  13. Inspring post, Vix. Loved it!

    I see my life coming a rather full circle these days and yes, it's been full of surprises.

    You look incredibly gorgeous today. :)

    xxxxx

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  14. I think this is my favorite Vix post ever!!
    I think 20 year old Vix would be gobsmacked at how FABULOUS 47 year old Vix became!!
    you are totally rocking the pink and the new top is fantastic-and so much more YOU than black!!

    I'm like Curtise-I wish I was this confident when I was 20, skinny and unwrinkled!! I'd tell myself it's ok to be smart and if a guy can't handle it--his problem!! There's no need to act like a bimbo to spare some dolt's ego!!

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  15. I LOVE this outfit - I WANT it!! You look so much better with black hair and have developed into a beautiful woman.
    We had the same posters on our walls and I wore only black, grey and purple. I guess I'm a lot more confident than I was back then, not that that stopped me having so much fun.

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  16. aahh vix this has made the tears role down my face. You were beautiful then inside and out and you still are, although a bit older and wiser to boot. You should indeed be proud and happy with the women you are now its good to embrace the past in a positive light the way you have. I have changed in many ways all for the better to. In fact changing my hairdresser when I left home was the best thing I ever did :-) I am very happy and content with myself and my life now and thankful for all things no matter how small. great post lovely, dee xxxx

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  17. Amazing!!! I really wouldn't of thought it was you, I just love it!! And you look amazing now. Your a true beauty Vix an inspirational lady, Its a pleasure to be your friend ;) I always look forward to seeing you and Jon at our vintage fairs. See you soon lady xxx

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  18. Er, I think she'd be rather delighted that you have such an awesome figure! You are intensely positive and I hope she'd be chuffed about that too.
    I have changed because I'm settled and as a 20 year old I found the uncertainty of what the future held quite worrying. God, I wasted too much time on useless undeserving men and never noticed the good ones who were around me, many of whom I'm still friends with today unlike the nob heads. Still, I learned my lesson in the end and have a good man.
    I'd be surprised that I have 2 cats as I never liked them. Well, I never knew any! I didn't know they had personalities!
    Wouldn't it be great if we could go and give our old selves a few pointers in the right direction? xxx

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  19. The top looks great, you look amazing both now and then, but I think even better now a days if I'm honest.

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  20. Fabulous post, enjoyed reading it. I was very shy as a teenager, but have gained confidence with age.

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  21. How cool to be able to have successfully rocked two totally opposite looks. In my twenties I had no intention of subscribing to the love marriage and the baby carriage gig. At thirty I was having my first child and getting married to an old aquaintance. Life is full of surprises and for me no real regrets. I think young Vix would be pretty stoked with the Vix of today!

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  22. Well what a treat this post is. I have been having a bit of a break from blog land but wanted to comment.

    I think the young Vix looked as cool as the today's Vix. Ahhh bedsit land I remember those days though I was working. It brought back so many memories.
    Loving the top by the way it looks very cool.

    How have I changed since my twenties. Mmm well I guess I am more laidback than I was back then. Still working on the confidence but can see some things just don't matter worrying about. I was and still can be a black wearing fiend. But colour is slowly creeping into my life. I would definitely of told my 20's me not to be a fool with money and to of been a lot more careful with it.

    Really loved this post Vix.


    P x

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  23. Hi my dear-needless to say this is such a heartwarming and wonderful post and really is so thought provoking too. You really have followed your heart and dreams and have a fabulous lifestyle. I am quite content with life at the moment, I just want my boys to be happy and prosper in their chosen careers and its great to see them grow and enjoy life. Xxx

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  24. Ok, I am not sure why this post made me teary but I'm an emotional mess over here. I think I like how the 2 Vixes are different yet they would like eachother. I think the younger Vix will be happy to know that happiness keeps coming at her. I've not surprise she had a "social life to kill for" as I am sure all Vixes are crazy fun to be around. You, present Vix are so crazy-sexy-cool, as well as kind-honest-real, that I love knowing you a bit more by getting a glimpse of a former self. Both Vixes are gorgeous and vivacious and absolutely mesmerizing.

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  25. You've changed a lot dear. And your younger self definitely was awesome - I wish I could know her purely (a part of her is in you definitely). But changed so much what I see there is a right way for person. With the twists but you had your own way just like it should be.
    You looked so pretty then! Really very pretty but you wasn't even half sexy as you are now. That's a bit odd to me but makes me admire you even more Vix.

    I hope I didn't offend you or something. have a great week

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  26. Oh this was such a lovely post to read, enjoyed it a lot! It's always awesome to read about how people have changed and this was a great way to tell about it. You both Vixes are so damn beautiful :)

    I don't think I would go along with teenager-me. I was so horrible back then.. :D

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  27. I love this post so much, 20 year old Vix would most definately be proud and most chuffed, I think the buds of us are there, and we add to it - my 20 year old was independant, working and focused on adventure (I didn't go to uni)I did exactly what I wanted and I'm glad I did - this post is awesome x

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  28. What a lovely post, Vix. I can't believe you are a natural blonde! You do suit darker hair much better. I am glad there is so much that is the same, through the years.

    It's fun to reflect on what would surprise your younger you. I would give my younger self a hug and let me know that I wouldn't be shy forever. I still read books like I am devouring them, still am very sentimental, and met the cute bookish man that I hoped to meet (though he is also sporty, and runs -as do I - that would surprise younger me). It's the equal partnership I hoped for. Clothes-wise, I am not sure. I used to be more daring, then got less so. I am perhaps going back that way now! X

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  29. Darling Vix, this is such a lovely post!!! I'm pawing over each old pic...you were and are still totally gorgeous! I guess some of us just fine tune ourselves as we get older. You've always been the same chicky, you've just gotten better, sexier and clearer about who you are and what you want from life! And just look at your gorgeous self! WOOF!
    Fecking love the fabric of those pants!!! You look a million bucks, doll!
    Love Helga xxxXXXxxx

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  30. This is a wonderful post Vix, I so enjoyed it.
    I would tell my younger self not to worry so much about what others thought of me and just follow my instincts. I would also tell myself to apply sunscreen, night cream and moisturiser to my neck, as well as my face each day, there is a marked difference between the two as I have grown older, as needless to say, I did not even think about my neck back then!
    Pam in TX.xx

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  31. Great post! Makes me think .... have i Changed? How? Hmmm ...
    Xxx

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  32. I adore this post!!! It's funny, lovely but also very interesting and makes me think a lot!Sometimes I think that we were too insecure when we were younger, this is probabily the reason of the black clothes and the natural blonde hair (I was for the same reason the opposite: a clown, to hide the real me)then you blossomed and you decided to change but probabily this change wasn't so drastic as it could seem from these photos..the new Vix was already inside the old Vix! I'm surprised to see that you still looks as young as the 20 years old you and I'm happy to know that we can improve our sewing skills if we really want to!
    The new top is fabulous and you look amazing in it!
    Love xxxxxx

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  33. Great post, it gave me lots to think about. 20 year old "Vicky" is so cute but then she grew into "VIX" and came into her own.
    I have no doubt you will continue to get better and better!

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  34. Aw, I love your blonde curls! Great make on the top, the fringing is a great embellishment :)

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  35. What a fabulous comment. Me, when I was an enforced school leaver at 15 I never dreamed that I would have as much happiness in my life as I have today 50 years later.

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  36. Superb post, Vix and one that resonates particularly with me! As my 40th birthday looms closer I often find myself wishing I was as comfortable in my own skin at 20 as I am now. But wisdom definitely comes with age...
    These days I do what I know is best for me and goes with my beliefs, not those of anyone else!

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  37. Wonderful post, gosh it's made me very reflective.

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  38. Brilliant post. It feels special to get to know the younger Vix, also full of life, beautiful and kind (no meat, yay!). Reflection is good for the heart, I think: to honor the young women we once were and be happy for who we've become. You're a shining star. xoxoxo

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  39. dear lady, how pretty you look wearing your fabulously pink outfit!, I agree with you: getting older is great (and funny) and black hair suits you delightfully!
    My twenty years old self would be astonished about me wearing Colors! particularly Pink!! ohhh, she hated pink so much!. I think she would be shocked about me being married and having a bureaucratic job!! and being happy with these things!
    besos & tender youth

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  40. that combo of the psychedelic pants and handmade top, it's just so pink and I love it. You look stunning then and now, I love your 80s look, especially that perm, it's really gorgeous. It does take over and I see what you mean about wearing plainer clothes because that beautiful mane would attract all the attention. However you know now you can do both, your raven locks get just as much attention as your fantastic clothes. xxxxx

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  41. wow Vix! although you've changed physically, you still seem to be quite cool and together and i sure 20 year old you would see that.

    20 years ago i was 7, so 7 year old me would probably be devo that im not married yet and am living with my boyfriend "in sin" (christian upbringing) and that im not a hairdresser or school teacher. I think though she would be happy i sewed, cooked and had a teeny garden and the wardrobe of her dreams!

    love those pant as well! i may have to learn to make pants next?

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  42. This is the best post! I love everything about it, the visual aspect of seeing how you looked, what you wore, where you lived compared to now, but also to find out what your thought about and what your hopes and dreams were.

    You always look amazing whether as a curly blonde or with straight black hair. Your sense of fun and that wonderful smile are consistent. Just love it.

    There's something very poignant about those photos of you today looking in that mirror. I wonder what you will be like in another 20 years time...

    I was still quite shy at 20. Glad I've grown out of that! xxxxxx

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  43. Aww, Younger Vix doesn't sound too dissimilar at all, although I don't think I'd recognise her to look at! Loved this post :)

    Reading through this I realise that I seem to have come full circle - in my teens I was non-conformist (in a quiet unassuming kind of way), then I spent most of my twenties panicking that I wasn't conforming enough (no house, husband, children or career to speak of) but as I get older I can feel myself becoming less encumbered by that sort of thing again. Is it "I shall wear purple" syndrome kicking in I wonder?! xx

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  44. Que bonito el top!!
    Saludos
    http://judithbysucre.blogspot.com.es

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  45. I adored this post! Firstly I loved seeing all those pictures of you as a young woman with curly blonde hair! Very much enjoyed reading the contrast between the younger and older Vix. Finally I love the way you encourage us all to joyously embrace the changes life brings us xx

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  46. Nice to meet Young Vix and see how older Vix relates to her! x

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  47. This was such a beautiful post, it made me teary. You are an inspiration! I'm so glad you're still taking the world by storm.

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  48. Also: I love Kate Bush. If that was in a boy's room, then that boy had good taste in music.

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  49. vix i am speechless and have a tear in my eye. you are so bloody awesome. i love you now even more and i didn't think that could ever be possible. i'm gonna come back later and read this again. and again.

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  50. Amen. Older is better. Much better. And..the blond hair was an accident, I think, in your case. You are truly a brunettish person, and it is so lovely on you!!!!
    xoxo
    d

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  51. Great Post! Even better to know that someone else thought "she grew up believing that it was inevitable even though it was something she'd never wanted."

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  52. This was a great post. You found what the 20 year old wanted, just not the way she thought she would. ......Contentment with yourself.

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  53. Oh Vix. I really love it when you let it all hang out. You have always been so beautiful. Yeah, I had a perm, too. It's funny, when I was young and rosy and shiny I just HATED the way I looked. And now that I'm older and wrinkled and grey I'm pretty happy with my looks. Life is a crazy ride.

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  54. Love this post so much. And young Vix would have been so happy to know what a humourous, fun and kind women she would be, with loads of friends who treasure her. xo

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  55. I think this is my favorite Vix post ever! My younger self would be proud of how strong of a woman I turned out to be! Hubby says I have rocks between my legs tougher than any man he has met (I take it as a compliment). Cheers!

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  56. Oh, I love this. Love. It. If only we'd known, we wouldn't have freaked out so much over every little thing.

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  57. This is a great post! I've been in the same sort of reflective mood this week since posting my own old photo, but I haven't given my thoughts as much substance as you have. It's fun to look at how some values have remained steadfast and others are completely surprising. Such an interesting story, this life.

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  58. You have such an obvious enthusiasm for life---it makes you ageless :)

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  59. I'm shocked you haven't always loved sewing! I hope I end up in a handmade crop top with no mortgage and a fab blog one day.

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  60. I think young Vix is super-cute and 'grown-up' Vix is super-cool... Not to mention how amazed young V would have been by her figure 20 years on.
    I strangely always looked forward to ageing... and it hasn't disappointed me. xoxo

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  61. So lovely to read someone talking about their past without snidey asides and shame. I think we all have our oh-no-you-didn't?!!! moments - but the fact that you don't have a rose-tinted rear view is refreshing too :) Young Vix sounds every bit as enchanting as Present Day Vix.

    What would I say to 20 year old me? Slow down and enjoy. Everything will be alright (despite what the medics are telling you now). Go hug your Mum and Dad. And yes - you will get that motorcycle :))

    Younger me (I hope) would laugh and be delighted at older me - but would maybe be sad at the decreptitude (mystery illness would infuriate younger me lol). My wardrobe is much better, however :)

    Lovely post - thank you xx

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  62. This makes me want to peak into my future! I'm on my twenties right now and I really hope that in twenty or so years I can look back and know both Anas will be proud of each other. I remember another post you did about leaving the job that made you unhappy and living for what brings you happiness. I'm pretty sure twenty years old Vix would be amazed by that, I know I would. I really hope that in twenty years I can afford living by what brings me happiness and not only money but right now it's not exactly what I can do.. xxx

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  63. every since Val poster her youngun' photo I've been itching to see everyone else! I knew it was only a matter of time before the photos would start surfacing. Thank you for sharing! My curiosity has been soothed.... for now.

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  64. Such a lovely post Vix and I love your new handmade top. I think 21 year old Trees would be rather dismayed at all of the cross-stitching, embroidery and sewing that current time Trees does. When I was younger I thought those things were painfully geeky :O

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  65. It's strange that when I was young I couldn't wait to grow up. I felt like an old mind in a young person's body. But I was still immature!
    I like this saying: When you are young you worry about what people think of you ; when you are middle aged you don't care what they think of you ; and when you are old you realise that no-one is thinking about you.

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  66. I'm so glad you eventually took up dress/cushion/lampshade/curtain-making because I really don't know what our bedroom and lounge curtains would look like if I didn't have our own glorious "stained glass" panels to gaze at. I'm sure the 20yo Vix was just as much fun to have around as the current version, certain of it! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful pics here my lovely xoxoxoxo

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  67. Just back from Spain and catching up with posts - this is my favourite.
    Facially and bodily you don't appear to have changed much but I love the way you reflect.
    I also love the Kate Bush poster on the wall - I was a huge fan in the 1970s/80s.
    Now what would 20-year-old Jane think of her 47-year-old self?

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  68. I learnt to like myself, that's how I changed; One small step, a giant leap for womankind!
    Thankyou for being an inspiration
    xx

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  69. This is such a lovely post, and very inspiring.

    I actually have the pillow case that matches your top and I made a cushion cover out of it! x

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  70. Thank you for that little window into Baby Vix land. I've changed vastly, in good ways, just less clueless and far less likely to leave a trail of destruction behind me. I was raised in a very chaotic environment, and I've had to teach myself how to be a grown up (in all the good ways, not the tedious meaningless ones). To understand how your actions affect others, to have not regrets but enough insight to learn from decisions and experiences, and lots of other bits of wisdom gotten.

    What a boring comment that was, sincere, but dull! In other news, your curtain top is almost exactly like one I wore ALL the time when I was 18, and I did make it myself.

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  71. Oh my Vix, what a wonderful post! Love how you gave a peak into your life as a younger you! I Like to think I've changed but truly I haven't, I still laugh at the same sort of things and eat the same variety of food, love the same sort of clothes I first read about as a 10 year old (couture, the 30's and 40's). My feet haven't grown since lol! My taste in men haven't changed at all and I got my tall, dark, very handsome man and children I always dreamt about. I never though thought I could wear anything 50's/60's and never appreciated the 70's while living in it of course :-) But I can do a bit of the 50's/60's my own way and the 70's were everything fashion/stylwise. My ONLY wish is that I had half the confidence then as I have now! I guess that's true with many women xx

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  72. You're so freaking awesome and cool. All of the other comments said everything else I was thinking.

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  73. A lovely, lovely post Gorgeous. Oh Bedsit Land...it was so character building! It's interseting isn't it because I used to think my younger self would have a right go at my thirysomething self for having kids and getting married...NEVER EVER on young Emma's list. I thought she would be furious that I hadn't travelled enough, written all the books she was going to write and move in to the studio in the middle of nowhere. Now I think she would be fine with it. I think she'd be shocked that she wasn't the dire mother she convinced herself she'd be or quite such a nightmnre to live with! I think she'd be pleased that essentially nothing has changed and impressed that she turned out to be more outspoken than she started out. She'd be made up that Kate Bush is still on the playlist and on the same bedsit record player.
    Love you.
    Em
    xxxxxxxx

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  74. What an amazing post!!!! You have inspired me!

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  75. Gorgeous then even more gorgeous now!

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  76. You looked pretty at 20, but now you look simply gorgeous! It is amazing! You are like a wine, getting better with age.

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  77. Great post Vix. My 20yr old self was as green as they come, certainly not as street wise as you seemed to be. Your boyfriend obviously had good taste in women..you and Kate Bush!
    Love the psychedelic trews and go-go top, fanfeckingtastic!

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  78. you are so stunning!! I love you as a blonde or brunette.

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  79. VIX,you were a stunner then & now the most stunning:)
    Keep loving life !

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  80. Sure we all change i think and for the better for i believe most of us - I always tought that you should let go and move on, and adapt -
    Pink is glorious on you - I love your shade of lipstick - Love your habs! I will get back mine when i return to yoga soon!

    Take care

    Ariane xx

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  81. I'm with Bella Q here...a little bit teary-eyed!
    Great post, very thought-provoking.
    Just feel very lucky to have met you and can call you a friend!
    Z xx

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  82. Loved this look back, may have to do that same soon. I'll be 27 this year, I think 20 year old me would have been surprised that I'd never finish school and find profitable self-employment. 20 year old me would be surprised I actually converted to healthy raw veganism (though I'd always wanted to) and wouldn't have dreamed I'd grow a brand into what it is now with thousands of followers and frequent customers. So much can change in 7 years, it's crazy.

    Thanks for the look back and encouraging us to do the same. LOVE the top you made!

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  83. Wow, I would never have recognised you Vix! I don't want this to be rude but I think you look much better now, you look more like yourself, like age has allowed you to fully open your wings with confidence and fly high.

    Truly Magnificent and an inspiration to all x

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  84. Great post, Vix! I too love my life just as much now (if not more) than I did 20 plus years ago. If only I'd have known then how much fun being 44 was going to be, I'd have looked forward to it more! xx

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  85. You are stunning no matter what age you have !!!!

    I just follow your blog can we follow each other?


    http://elogiosamislocuras.blogspot.com

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  86. This post is amazing Vix, and the go-go top is brilliant! It's always so cool learning about people's pasts and the ways in which they've grown. I think I've still got a lot of learning to do and more growing to come but looking back at me at school I'd like to think I've become less anxious and a bit more confident. - Tasha xxx

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  87. I was really touched to read this lovely post, dear Vix, thought provoking reflection and with the ending that you have created exactly the life you want through hard work and being true to yourself. You are beautiful both brunette and blonde, and my goodness look at your amazing flat tummy, incredible! I love the crop top you made.

    In answer to your question, I don't believe how I look has changed at all, I still wear the same vintage clothes and keep my hair long. Yet people I went to school/uni with often comment when we meet on how 'amazing' I look, in comparison to how I was then. Which reveals what has really changed, nothing external but so much internally, an inner confidence and joy in being the woman I am.

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  88. That's a really reflective post and its lovely compare the 'Then' Vix to the 'Now' Vix.

    I've changed more in character then looks really, as my hair is more or less the same as how I wore it in the late 80s and 90s etc. - but I don't use henna now! I've grown into being more confident and not giving a toss what other people think. Back then I wouldn't have said boo to a goose! xxx

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  89. What a wonderful throught provoking post, if only we could spend an afternoon with our younger selves eh? Crikey, I'm sure I feel younger and more alive now at 39 than I ever did at 20! xx

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  90. What an amazing post amor! Love that photo of your kitty and The Smiths poster.You inspire us putas so much.
    You look even better with age.

    Besotes

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  91. wow I really love this post. You looked so young and cute. I know exactly how you feel about not liking how you looked I was like this too in fact I have not changed much in that way I wish I could learn to love how I look.

    I may try and do a post like this if I can dig out some old photos x

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  92. Excellent post. It's great to reflect back at ourselves. I agree, when I think about my younger self, things are so different and I am truly more comfortable and immensely happier now and getting older. You're a stunner always. I could hardly tell that was you. xx/Madison

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  93. Moving through life with that contagious smile - that's what I see hasn't changed. You say here everything that I wanted to say but with a sense of calm and assurance. No need to talk about the Issues when they are all in the life, the photos, the moving on reflected in the images. I am able to say NO now better than I could when I was young, but YES as well, all with more conviction. I really love this post, Vix.

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  94. This was a really really wonderful post to read Vix. It was so interesting to see a different you from a different time and it certainly settled and put at peace some of my own personal worries that I have for the future. Thank you! xxx

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  95. As I wrote on Facebook - now I know where patricia Field got her inspiration to the character Carrie. You were cute then and you are almost unbearably beautiful now. I have young employees in short periods during summer and I use to tell them that the best time of their lives is yet to come when they say that it's hard to be 25 etc. I say that they probably will be their hottest at 37, and that they will experience harmony after 40 etc but I think I have to revise the notion that they will be their prettiest at the age of 37 ... I guess more like ... don't know your age.

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  96. I wrote a follow-up reflective post here: http://www.thriftcore.com/2013/08/knowing-what-i-know-now-lets-look-10.html

    Thanks for the inspiration!

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  97. So inspiring to hear your reflections on then and now. At 18 of course, I'm wondering what my older self will be telling the me that is now, though already I can look back at my 13 year old self (face down, sobbing on the sofa) and want to reassure her.
    You look wonderful - as ever - and I'm looking particularly closely at your top and recognising that I have a stash of fabric in that exact pattern that was bought some time ago from a charity shop. I intended to make it into a house coat, but never got round to it. Must dig it out and try to get creative.

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  98. Hi, been reading your blog for a while and just had to say how much I enjoyed this post.

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  99. You seem to have exactly the same mirror, now and then! On another note, lovely outfits in both past and present though I must admit a little penchant for the flamboyant pink!

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  100. Look at you Vix!!!! Its wonderful seeing the pics from your past.......You looked amazing then, but I have to say you look incredible now.......black hair seems more like you...sorry that is a mad comment but it just seem right.
    I have always wondered what I would say to the 20 year old me.........probably one thing that even the forty year me struggles with........the bloody 'worry' shoes I wear. Oh and don't get married to your ex-husband....run bunny RUN!!!
    Thanks for a great post. Love V

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  101. Oh Vix, I so enjoyed this post. Isn't it funny how we can look back at ourselves and then see where we have come. I often think of things I did in my 20s (sunday sessions at "The church" Kings Cross in London come to mind) and then at me now (Friday nights at home sewing and putting kids to bed) are two worlds apart but essentially I was happy as a clam then and just as happy and content now!
    You were beautiful then and even more so now xoxoxox

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  102. I've really enjoyed this post and seeing your young self alongside now. Who would have thought black hair would look so natural on a true blonde?

    Love your new top and those trousers are fantastic!

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  103. You know someone is really beautiful if they can be a blonde or have raven hair! I think your 20 year old self would be proud of this stage in your life. Never dull, gorgeous everyday, hard working, creative Vix! Loved this post! XXX

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  104. what a touching post.

    ... black hair sadly didn't looked that amazing on me. (maybe i post the picture of black haired me, wearing a danzig-tee, black bellbottoms, bikerboots and a biker jacket ...).

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  105. Oh Vix you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing 20 year Vix with your readers - the photos and the narrative are just lovely. My goodness those trousers are amazing and the top too - both really suit your lovely figure.

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  106. It's so fascinating to see these pictures Vix, you've changed style over the years but you've always looked good and the inner core of Vix seems to have remained the same, you've always been true to yourself. I've just had a similarly nostalgic time after spending a week in the holiday camp me and Pat met in twenty years ago, it always stirs up so many feelings for me when I go back. I wish I could have told the young me to relax and not be so intense about everything, I'm kind of the opposite of you as I didn't really see children in my future then ended up having four. xx

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  107. Love this post. I have changed loads over the years. I am much more confident but less adventurous (probably a result of having children!. Have also put on lots of weight but some how feel much more confident about how I look.

    I really love that outfit! amazing paisley.

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  108. I was sure I had commented on this post - I read it, and loved it! You were lovely in your 20's and it's so sad that you didn't believe it. You have the same spirit and joyful smile now, but the confidence that you lacked then. Raven hair does suit you, or at least, it suits the woman you've become. Your 20 year old self would be thrilled to see the colourful, inspiring, love-filled life you've created for yourself.

    I wish I hadn't wasted so much time trying to get people to like me, who weren't worth the trouble. And that I could have had the courage to say "NO" more often. I think the 20 year old me would think the current me is pretty awesome.

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  109. I found this post really interesting, I've changed alot since first going out with my husband 8 years ago at the age of 15. I was very gothic/grungy and was obsessed with doing my own piercings and moshing hehe. I'm very girly now in comparison.

    Thank you for your comment btw :) I really recommend PYO farms. I was sooo shocked at how much I got for the price I paid, it's so cheap. And it feels nice knowing you've picked it yourself. I need to go again before all the kids pick all the strawberries till there's none left haha. xx

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  110. Your writing keeps me on the edge of my seat, as you describe the evolution of Vix. Beautiful then, but even more striking and fascinating now.

    I have made radical changes over my lifetime, and I too am very happy with the life I have now. And I'm sure more to come for the both of us.

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  111. What a fabulous post. You are an inspiration for all women! M x

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  112. You just look absolutely amazing. The top is gorgeous. The pants are incredible. I love the old photos and the lippy and the stories... but mostly I love being a part of your world and the conversations you are having with your younger self. How fantastic. You're beautiful.

    Love, Sarah xxx

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