A scarily large amount of people find my blog every week using the keywords "Mature woman in bikini" and occasionally "Hot over 50 in bikini" (Cheeky, I'm only 46!) so, just by way of a change I thought I'd treat them to some "mature woman in a swimsuit" pictures instead.
|1960s St Michael denim swimsuit (Maisie's Closet Vintage)|
My friend Reva wrote on her blog today about camouflage and what we do to enhance our appearance, be it Photo-shopping the wrinkles and flabby bits out of photographs or by using cosmetics and magic undies in real life.
What about me? Effects-wise I've cropped the crap from the side of the wardrobe. My blonde hair is dyed black, my eyebrows are tattooed on, I'm wearing 6 inch heels, eye shadow, kohl, false eyelashes, nail varnish, blusher and lipstick,
and I'm sporting a state of the art prosthetic hip joint, which, if you look closely you can see the scar running down the hip closest to you.
|1960s St Michael psychedelic skirted swimsuit (40p, jumble sale), Candy-coloured platforms (£5, local retail)|
My body is due to a vegetarian diet, limiting my booze intake to just four days a week, loathing of sugar and junk food and a 30 minute a day exercise routine. I'd rather spend 10 minutes a day doing sit-ups than subject myself to the horrors of beige control pants, thanks very much!
So, how much of a fake are you?
I could show you the blizzard raging outside or the 6 inches on snow on the ground but I'll leave that to someone else, I'm off to the pub in my fake fur, Cossack hat and wellies and I promise to substitute a vintage dress for a swimsuit.
Have a fantastic weekend!